Yesterday I noticed that the car next door had left his headlights on. I had a choice in my head... do I go and tell him? or do I leave it so his battery goes flat.
I decided on the latter because his house can be noisy at times which is annoying and when he gets in his car and plays really really really loud music in his car it really really really pisses me off - once he was playing music so loud that I could hear it perfectly... and I'm in a double glazed room and his speakers are in a car... anyways enough of that...
So... I'm walking to the pub after seeing how well the battery flattening is going... headlights are flickering now... good good... and I saw him walking towards me down the road back to his house... ah bollocks... he'll notice the flashing lights and do something about it... I decided that there probably wasn't enough juice left to turn over the engine though, so he'd still be buggered. Muhahaha...
When I got to the pub I told the people at the bar how evil I'd been (which seeing as he wasn't in the house might have meant that even if I'd said something nothing could have been done) and how silly it was on another side because he'd no doubt come knocking on our door asking if we had a set of jump-leads to get him out of his flat battery predicament.
No sooner has this conversation ended... he comes in the pub door (I've never ever seen him in the pub before) and I was trying to contain my laughter... "Has anyone got any jump leads?" he asks at the bar... everyone around me now ends up looking away to contain their laughter...
He then wanders across to the group of regulars celebrating a birthday and I can only assume asks them the same question... he leaves the pub without his jump-leads and goes off to the chippy across the road.
I pointed out to the people at the bar that when he's asking for "jump leads" he actually means "jump leads and a donor car" - 'cause there's only one car on his drive... one of the birthday people decide to go across to the chippy and offer use of a set they have at home... he comes back in the pub... "bollocks to that, he wants me to drive to him and lend me the car too!".
Giggle giggle.